King Cobra (1998)

In this age of the sequel, it came as an enormous surprise that the producers of the surprise hit Anaconda didn’t churn out a follow-up within months of the original’s theatrical run. It never happened, and when writing this review, there appear to be no plans for Anaconda 2 soon (there have been half a dozen by now!). Before you breathe a collective sigh of disappointment or relief, depending on your point of view, here comes along a film that could well don the title of unofficial sequel to 98’s slithering smash hit in the shape and form of Trimark’s King Cobra.

The film follows absolute genre guidelines with an early attack scene followed by the small town community with an upcoming beer festival, the success of which means the town’s livelihood. Our snake-busting heroes naturally realize the threat caused by a manic depressive snake which has taken an overdose of nasty serum is considerable, and in a Jaws-like manner, insist that the festival be stopped. Blinded by their lust for the dollars, the locals brush aside the reptilian threat as if it were nought – a terrible folly.

All the stereotypes are included here, including the fast-talking, jive afro American bro with an enormous mouth and a pea-sized brain. There is an excellent “skinny dipping” scene featuring two horny Hispanics… a joy to see the giant cobra chasing the saucy nubile young chick in her undies all over the jungle. Our snake disapproves of bad girls who run around jungles in a state of undress, and he ensures his disapproval is registered.

The lead couple is as unattractive as possible, and there is a whole subplot that the town’s numero uno doctor is about to leave the small town for the big city to get a better job and life. Alas, he is set to leave his small town, simple, local cop of a girlfriend at home with the snakes, and we, the audience, are supposed to feel ripped apart by this enormous dilemma. We pray that both are saved the worst end, but our evil desires remain unfulfilled.

Pat Morita plays the snake expert, miraculously keeping a straight face while delivering some genuinely hysterical dialogue. Like all good mad scientists, he is “in love” with snakes and possibly even wants to be one. This film is cliché city but armed with enough tackiness and stupidity to elevate it from stuff like the recent Bats, which was woeful and probably cost ten times as much as this piffle.

The snake effects range from bad to quite bad, but once or twice, the giant creature does look awe-inspiring if a touch stiff around the edges. It doesn’t move so much as the camera zooms towards its open jaws to indicate a vicious kill. Once in a while, it manages to spring forward quite majestically, and its eyes occasionally look pretty cool. Good use is made of a monstrous profile and supersonic snake sounds. It’s quite a giggle watching this super cobra doing its thing.

Once or twice, it makes stunning appearances out of the blue, causing a major shock or two. It’s good old-fashioned cheap B monster movie fun with no pretensions whatsoever. Some horrid acting and some of the worst dialogues in recent history, but a funky snake monster with a mile-long mean streak make up for many of its flaws.