Up From The Depths (1979)

It is a film forgotten by time, indeed one of the few movies that they have never bothered to release on DVD, let alone Blu-ray. It had its last run as a VHS, and it was tough discovering a copy to watch solely based on a rather spectacular poster that adorns my bedroom wall. (Since writing this review, the film has had a stunning release on Blu-Ray and other formats and appears to have enjoyed a somewhat mystifying renaissance.)

Expectations were, however, meagre as the adage was kept in mind about awful horror movies often having the most spectacular posters, and this was to be no exception to the rule. In the opening scene where a young research assistant (always the teacher’s “side-chick” cum pet) goes diving into the sea off Hawaii only for there to be some tremors which release a ghastly seas beast far uglier, larger and more ferocious than a shark but the problem is the all the viewer gets to see is a blur followed by fake blood rising through some murky water. If this opening was something to match the beginning of Jaws from a few years ago, well, let us say it was a massive failure on all counts. Nonetheless, a monster movie must be persevered with, and you did not catch a glimpse of Bruce (Jaws) until well into the last third of the classic Spielberg movie, so Up from the Depths deserves a fair chance.

The focus shifts to Hawaii’s sun-soaked and alcohol-drenched beaches, where a super-geek of a resort manager is trying to ensure all his customers are getting what they paid for; a luxurious, fun-filled holiday. Strange events suggest all is not well; a swimmer emerges from the water covered in fish bait, or what looks like fish bait. However, we, the audience, already know that there is something more sinister at work and that the fish bait is not the result of some careless fisherman. Moments later, a sizeable toothy shark carcass is discovered with large chunks of its body bitten into by something even more monstrous lurking in the depths the holidaymakers are oblivious to.

There is a rusty old boat run by a beery, unshaven lout attempting his best Quint impersonation and failing miserably, but we all know that he and his ship will likely be critical players later in the game. Things plod on as we follow the fortunes of a local couple and their interactions with the primarily elderly couples inhabiting the resort. Earl, The Quint impersonator, in his gruffest, most sea-weathered voice, mumbles something about a stash of ivory and jade lying at the bottom of the sea, which the struggling couple, as well as some avaricious tourists, take a keen interest in.

Meanwhile, another tourist with a very odd foreign accent is attacked by a blur (representing the unseen monster) and dragged underwater and out of sight. Not far away, a local diver discovers a severed human arm from the opening scene, probably belonging to the researcher. Slowly word starts filtering out about some sea creature that is not a shark causing havoc. Still, the business demands of the resort are paramount, and safety fears are downplayed so that the vacationers can continue to enjoy themselves.

The predictable dullness is alleviated by the arrival of a horrid actress with a ridiculous “common” East London accent who you know the worst death must be reserved for. Rich bitch glamour dolls who brazenly flaunt themselves are the preferred fodder for deep-sea movie monsters worldwide. Meanwhile, there is much waist-wiggling Hawaiian style as the fun and frolic continues despite the rising body count. Things develop in very Jaws tradition with the forces of greed against those of humanity at loggerheads. At the same time, the monster finally makes its less-than-overwhelming appearance and all sorts of mayhem ensues as word finally reaches the revellers that their lives are in peril.

A hideous soundtrack tries its best to muster some suspense or drama but is way too lame and dated to make a mark. The only saving grace is Iris, the Supermodel, flashing her breasts with carefree abandon, not knowing that Monsters love that sort of thing. The scenes of people fleeing the beach are rather bizarre… exiting the water is understandable, but rushing hysterically helter-skelter on land to avoid a fish in the sea is slightly over-reaction. At no point has this fish ever hinted at sprouting legs or having the capability of flourishing on land.

The horrified tourists depart en masse as the reporters and bounty hunters descend. As the movie lurches towards its non-existent climax, there is still time for some lame comic scenes featuring a Japanese tourist who intends to take to the sea monster with his samurai sword in hand. Other fools also trawl the sports goods store for arsenal as the remaining tourists gear up for a lethal assault on the fish monster with two dorsal fins, presumably indicating that it is twice as dangerous as a shark with only one.

The film dawdles to its pathetic conclusion, none of which is even visible except a blur and some stock footage of random sharks in extreme close. As a huge admirer of Monster Fish movies, there is a need to say anything positive about this murky, meandering mess of a film. Other than the spectacular poster, there is nothing else to recommend. Up from the Depths is a genuinely lame movie on all counts.